All About Gamer Extract

This weekend you have your pick of workplace satire, videogame/entertainment satire, and celebrity/news satire.  I hope you’re in the mood for praise and flattery (j/k), because two of the three movies are the unfunny kind of ironic mocking where people misinterpret humor for cruelty (or maybe the jokes aren’t funny).  Sounds like fun right (sarcasm)?  First up, All About Steve (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic) a Sandra Bullock ‘comedy’ about stalking.

“The only laughs elicited by All About Steve are those of incredulity.” Nick Schager Slant Magazine

No way!  Impossible!  I can’t believe it!  It’s Bullock!  She’s too likable!

“How do you make a movie about a protagonist so profoundly irritating that even her loved ones barely tolerate her? And how do you avoid annoying audiences to the point of distraction in the process?” The Onion (A.V. Club) Nathan Rabin

How do you answer a rhetorical question?

“A salute to stalkers not recommended for cops, celebrities or anyone else.” Matt Pais Metromix.com

So, stalkers only?  That would be a fun group to see it with; everyone would be hiding behind curtains and eyeing each other suspiciously.  So, since the reviews are abysmal, let’s end with some praise.

“Easily the worst movie of the week, month, year, and Bullock’s entire career. It is to comedy what leprosy once was to the island of Molokai: a plague best contemplated from many miles away.” Ty Burr Boston Globe

Psych!  Next up, a violent action movie about death row inmates being controlled by players in Gamer (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).  Since this is a satire of gaming culture and entertainment, we will tailor the remaining reviews to readers with SAS.

“[Directors] Neveldine and Taylor simply spray their venom across the screen with little vision, once again making a friendly trip to the multiplex feel like undeserved torture.” Brian Orndorf Sci-Fi Movie Page

“Gamer grabs you by the back of the head and runs you through a minefield with internal organs flying at you around every corner…It’s fast, mean and dirty as all hell.” Uncle Creepy Dread Central

“Stunningly impersonal and underdeveloped, Gamer consists of pawns posing as people going through the motions of directors Neveldine’s and Taylor’s ugly orgy of style over substance.” Dustin Putman TheMovieBoy.com

To sum up, Gamer is a venomous orgy of undeserved torture in an impersonal minefield.  Is there anything else to it?

“When they open a Bad Movie Hall of Fame, there’ll be a display case waiting for Amber Valletta’s shorts.” Jordan Hoffman UGO

Inaugural member of the Hall of She's Got Game(r)

The last movie is Mike Judge’s (creator of Office Space, King Of The Hill, and Beavis and Butthead) newest criticism of workplace stupidity: Extract (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic). 

According to critics, this is the only successful satire out this weekend, but even that claim is suspect.  For example, compare this:

“The funniest American comedy of the summer.” Chicago Tribune Michael Phillips

With this:

“May be the most disappointing American comedy of the decade, partly because it’s jokeless and joyless but mostly because it squanders an all-star cast of superb comic talent.” Washington Post Dan Zak

And somewhere between those bipolar voices is the idea that Extract will end up in the same cult category as Office Space and Idiocracy:

“Extract seems destined to do minor business at the box office but achieve a kind of immortality as a cult DVD, to be quoted from at parties and passed around to friends. Which may be just fine by its creator–as Beavis and Butt-head have taught us, snickering with your friends in front of the television can is one of life’s great joys.” Slate Dana Stevens

I’ve never heard of a ‘television can’ but I’ll assume that it’s an ‘over my head’ concept rather than a typo.  As the only potentially effective satire of the week, what makes it special?

“White trash meets white collar in Extract, Mike Judge’s workplace comedy — which contains more reality than the last five documentaries I’ve seen.” New York Post Kyle Smith

PDJ wonders if throwing a white collar in the trash counts as satire