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500 days of Harry Potter

I imagine a Hogwarts fanatic would wish the title into reality if they had enough magical chutzpah.  But really, it is a summation of this week’s two most notable openers: 500 Days of Summer (RT 92%M 80%) and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (RT 90%M 80%).  We’re at that point in the summer where the biggest movies are behind us and only a few remaining films are left promising air-conditioned big-budgeted yet over-priced entertainment.  So, if you’re bummed by the prospect of having fewer warm days left in 2009 and wish that you had enough magical chutzpah to extend your summer by a few hundred days, take solace in the fact that you have two good movies to choose from. poster_500DAYS_FINAL

According to some sites, this movie can be summed up as: boy meets girl then romance meets amusing and painful life lessons about love.  However, since summation robs stories of potency, let’s hear from the professionals.

“You’re going to hear a lot about 500 Days of Summer over the next few months. All of the good stuff is true. Any bad stuff you hear is not.” Film Threat Scott Knopf

So, there’s nothing wrong with this movie?  It’s fine to say that, but until Armond hates it, no way that’s true.

“It is so annoyingly cute about the smartness of middle-class young white people in love that one quickly realizes it is only about that — not love nor passion as everyone experiences it.” Armond WhiteNew York Press

Well, it passed the first test of being good.  Next up, how does it rank against other genre entries?

“It’s as close to perfect a romantic comedy as I’ve ever seen.” Eric D. Snider EricDSnider.com

Wow, looking good so far.  If there was something wrong with it, what would it be?

“The film is, finally, a brilliant tap dance over a void: There’s no real drama when the inner life of the female lead is so shrouded, even if that’s the point.” New York Magazine David Edelstein

Does anyone else’s mental picture of a ‘tap dance over a void’ involve Willey Coyote?

He doesn't always tap dance, sometimes he gets down

He doesn't always tap dance, sometimes he just gets down

“Hits every emotional nail in the head so perfectly … you’ll not be able to walk away from this movie at least not somewhat more enlightened than when you walked in.” Edward DouglasComingSoon.net

Got it, enlightenment for 10 bucks a person.  While the reviewers loved 500 days, they gushed, swooned, and totally freaked out over Harry Potter.

harry_potter_halfblood_prince_final_poster_0

“A remarkable achievement in imagination, storytelling, and underlying thematic relevance, a motion picture that visually dazzles as any respectably made blockbuster should, but also knows not to misplace the human element at the forefront.” Dustin Putman TheMovieBoy.com

Sounds magical…

“Already past the point when most film franchises would be wheezing their way toward irrelevancy, Potter keeps going strong with a sense of purpose and ambition that puts most of Hollywood to shame.” Geoff Berkshire Metromix.com

Bewitching.

“This is absolutely the best of the Harry Potter films so far.” Drew McWeeny HitFix

Miraculous.  Okay, enough one-word magic-themed thesaurus-driven praise.  What did Armond think?

“Astoundingly unimaginative, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ruins the idea of popular entertainment.” Armond White New York Press

Fiendish.  I think Armond ruins the idea of popular criticism.   But despite his nay-saying, he’s not alone in providing some less-than-enchanting comments.

“An uninformed audience is left with a movie that feels like 90210 meets Mr. Wizard. I’d rather watch David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear for 153 minutes than endure this flick’s trite magic tricks.” Clay Cane BET.com

At this point in the uber-franchise, I’d hope that there aren’t many uninformed audiences left.  If you hated the others, this one has a chance of turning you around.  If you’ve seen and enjoyed the others, grab your wand and your wallet and enjoy.

Future star of the Harry Potter prequels

Future star of the Harry Potter prequels

“Someone needs to tell that man-boy wizard that sequels, like gallons of milk left on the equator, aren’t supposed to get better with age. Twinkies ain’t got nothing on the Hogwarts posse when longevity meets sheer satisfaction.” Mike Ward Richmond.com

PDJ aint got nothing on Twinkies

PDJ aint got nothing on Twinkies

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One Response

  1. Armond must be such a miserable human. (Also – the drawings of you guys at the top of the page are wicked awesome!)

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