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Revenge of the Food

I think the world is simply amazing.

To illustrate the point: I took some leftover peanut chicken to work for dinner last night. My wife takes chicken boobs or tenders and rolls them in bread crumbs, peanuts, and pixie dust. Then she serves them with garlic fries. Head over here and I’m sure you’ll find it in the archives.

Anyway, I had no choice but to spit in the eye of Natural Order and microwave the chicken at work. Ugh. I’m a big fan of the microwave since it brings magical things like frozen burritos and Hot Pockets to life. However, good for reheating chicken, it ain’t. I usually end up with bread-crumb-and-peanut-wrapped clay.

So I nuke it for 2 minutes, and suddenly realize that I only have the plastic silverware that shop kitchens and family reunions are famous for. When I stab into the chicken with the plastic fork and slice it up with the plastic knife, I find that the heat of the chicken and the pressure of my quad-pointed thrust has made the tines begin to curl. Unwilling to discard the fork simply for a little curliness, I continue.

By the time I’m done, I feel less like I’m poking the chicken with a fork and more like I’m getting ready to hang it from the ceiling of a big freezer. The tines have become almost full curls. It was like a fork from Nightmare Before Christmas.

The part that really made me stop was the fact that I had never before had something like that happen in my life. And it was really good to realize that I can still be surprised in a joyously gleeful and childlike way. It was like a time-out from the hullabaloo of being an adult.

When was the last time that happened to you?

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