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Fast and furious adventure

A theme park and a tricked out muscle car want you to see their movies this weekend.  First, the coming-of-age post-college dramady Advertureland from the writer of Superbad.  Second, a bunch of actors (Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriquez) who tried to distance themselves from the Fast and Furious franchise, failed and returned for number 4.  One has critical acclaim and the other has critical tire tracks running across it.  Start your engines ladies and gents.

“Thanks to an exceptionally deft touch, Mottola manages to capture the absurdity and anguish of young adulthood, while never sacrificing meaning on the altar of crude humor.” Washington Post  Ann Hornaday

Good to hear.  Plus, I don’t know what church has an alter of crude humor, but I would consider attending.  It’s right up there with a nacho cheese fountain in terms of things I’d like to see before I go to that great theme park in the sky.

“A confident return to the kind of teen comedy that’s funny without being raunchy, youthful without being juvenile, and reflective without hitting you over the head.” Austin Chronicle  Marjorie Baumgarten

Yay, no head smashing (though that probably comes up in our next movie).  Hopefully the only head smashing in Advertureland is of robotic gophers and moles.

Whack those moles!

Whack those moles!

“Adventureland has the structure of a Tilt-a-Whirl ride: It goes where you expect, and may fill you with dread.” New York Daily News  Joe Neumaier

Sounds like life.  You go up, you go down, and you’re sick near the end.  Huzzah!

“Harmless enough, but “indie comedy” sounds like something better seen at Urban Outfitters than at a movie theater.” Boston Globe Wesley Morris

Okay, but Wesley Morris sounds like something better seen at Buggerwarts School for Boys.  Moving on to a movie that stars people and cars (not necessarily in that order).

“It seems deftly appropriate that they would decide to remove the two ‘the’s from the title, the most replaceable word in the English language and compensate their absence with two of the most transparent ciphers to ever get above-title billing.” Erik Childress eFilmCritic.com

It does sound deftly appropriate given this franchises tendency to play screw with the rules of the English language.

Too bad they didn't check their grammar

Too bad they didn't check their grammar

“It offers an attractive getaway route from self-importance, snark, and chatty comedies about male bonding. Here, stick shifts do the talking.” Entertainment Weekly Lisa Schwarzbaum

A talking stick shift would probably say:  “Quit groping my head!”

“No matter what, it’s safe to say that this entirely acceptable retooling of the franchise makes for a satisfying experience for those who enjoy four-wheeled chases, hot bodies, hot cars, and a tall dose of tough-guy machismo.” TV Guide  Jeremy Wheeler

Will 3 out 4 suffice?

At last the car takes center stage.

By the 3rd installment they did away with 'actors' and let the car take center stage.

“The action scenes don’t always get the balance between flash and danger right, but the movie remains agreeably dopey–presenting street-racing culture as a hotbed of colorful stereotypes and lipstick lesbianism–until a climax that just isn’t there.” The Onion (A.V. Club)  Keith Phipps

Hot girls and machismo, but no climax?  Huh, maybe not the worst thing you could say, but it’s close.

The original, complete with deleted "the's"

The original, complete with deleted "the's"

“Brian and Dom could drive from L.A. to Mexico City and back blindfolded, but would require a GPS to find the zipper of a dress. The only time they smile here is when they are alone in a garage, tinkering with their dream cars.” The Globe and Mail (Toronto)  Stephen Cole

I think I’m getting it.  The cars are so hot, the guys can’t help themselves. Remember that comment about inappropriate stick shift touching?  Me thinks the engine is dying on this series.

“As superfluous sequels go, Fast & Furious makes Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo seem vital.” Carla Meyer Sacramento Bee

Nevermind, the engine is dead. Enjoy your weekend.

Adventureland: Rotten Tomatoes – 89%; Metacritic – 76%

Fast and Furious: Rotten Tomatoes – 25%; Metacritic – 45%

P to the D with a J at the end

P to the D with a J at the end

3 Responses

  1. If removing the the’s = 4th movie in the series, what will they remove for the inevitable 5th movie?

    Maybe the ampersand:Fast Furious

    Maybe various vowels: Fast Furs

    Or maybe some consonants: Fat Us.

    Or maybe just F U!

  2. Genius!!!

  3. I laughed so hard at the nacho cheese fountain comment!

    I’m definitely going to have to see Adventureland.

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