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Addendum

Okay, I admit it.  I left one movie off from this week’s opening movies.  I did it because no one had reviewed it as of Thursday night (another bad sign), but also because it looked more BAD than awesomely bad.  It had the stink of empty promises and bad decisions.  It was destined to be forgotten.  I just couldn’t let that happen because I don’t want to live in a world without bad movies. But before that, what do you remember about 1994?

Some people had these and were on the technological frontier

Some people had these and were on the technological frontier

But there was also great movies like Speed, The Lion King and The Mask.  Plus, there are these gems.

The one with 1990's 'it' girls shooting at men in the 1890's.

The one with 1990's 'it' girls shooting at men in the 1890's.

The one about the slow guy who ran fast

The one about the slow guy who ran fast
The one with the crazy dead guy and Tyler Durden

The one with the crazy dead guy and Tyler Durden

And the one with a happy ending and some guy who plays God a lot.

And the one with a happy ending and some guy who plays God a lot.


The one with the two has-beens acting special

The one with the two has-beens acting special

The reason for the flashback is because in 1994 there was a colossal mental FAIL in which the harsh lessons of 1993 were forgotten.  Movie executives mistook the Super Mario Brother’s as a SUCCESSFUL movie idea and decided to make this:

The one where the T1000 from Terminator 2 battles two teenage graduates of the Disney school of kung-fu.

The one where the T1000 from T2 battles two teenage graduates of the Disney school of kung-fu.

And let’s not forget its more popular fraternal twin.

Ah shit, it's on blu-ray?

Ah shit, it's on blu-ray?

Which leads us to the reason for this addendum, the remake of the above-featured “classic” comes out today.  Somehow, somewhere, someone thought it would be a good idea to remake a horrible movie based on the sequel to a horrible video game with lower-tier actors and less money.

The result?

Currently sitting at 0% positive

Currently sitting at 0% positive

Enjoy your weekend.

motivator12331571

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3 Responses

  1. But Kristin Kruke…Kriuck…Krook…

    She’s PRETTY. And I heard recently (from Joel Silver and Jerry Bruckheimer) that people go to see movies because they like looking at pretty things.

    Like shiny new quarters. And explosions.

  2. Dude, Taboo from Black Eyed Peas is in this movie! I wonder how his unique blend of not-really-doing-much and hard-to-avoid-noticing will translate to cinema!

  3. I am okay with panning SF:legend of Chun Li, but not the game. SF II and III were great games and defined (ug) ugrad. In sum:movie bad; game good.

    Can sheep-ish name?

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