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The Truth About Seattle

This is how to tell you live in a city, nay a metropolitan area, full of pansies: a school day has just been called on account of imminent snow. Does that make sense? There’s very little snow on the ground, and it’s not presently snowing, but they have cancelled the entire day of school because they think it’s going to snow.

This whole week, I’ve been hoping it will snow. Give me a white Christmas, right? Now, I’m kind of hoping it doesn’t snow, just so the area’s meteorologists (and whoever it is who decides when to call school snow days) look like morons.

It’s like calling a baseball game on account of a cloudy sky. It’s like starting yourself on chemotherapy because you shook hands with a smoker.

Seattle, as a collective population, is so petrified of snow and “the black ice” that I think the city council’s next mission will be to punch a hole in the ozone layer so that this region never gets cold enough for snow.

Honestly. Imminent snow.

And my wife had a sub job today. She was ready to go and almost left the house.



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