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Why I Can’t Sleep

My biggest problem right now is tension: neck, shoulder, back. Time was I used to spend my days sitting at a computer, but now I spend at least 8 hours a day on my feet, walking. Not just standing, but walking.

I’ve been working a retail job at a place called Storables for the last four weeks, and that means lots and lots of walking around and making sure customers are happy, satisfied, and appreciated. What it means for me, however, is that I’m constantly tense.

First, there’s the physical aspect of standing and walking for long periods of time (an atypical activity for me). Second, there’s the emotional aspect of wanting to do well at this new job, dealing with customers’ problems (and disdain if you can’t solve them), and fretting over the fact that I’m a 32-year-old college graduate working a job that barely (and I mean barely, skating by a hairsbreadth on the skin of my teeth with no room for error) pays the bills.

Have you ever worked a full-time job while working freelance and job hunting? And keep a healthy marriage? The first casualty was my social life. Little to none, excepting the occasional visit from the honorable King Sheep, or when a friend graciously offers to buy me lunch or coffee.

To those friends: thank you.

Yes, tension is my enemy. I know I should stretch more or exercise more or eat more iron or protein or calcium or Monk’s Hood or something, but what I really want is fewer stressors.

I’ve been popping in to video game company offices and expressing my desire to work. No doubt, some of them may explore this website and find this blog. I certainly hope so, because there’s something I’ve realized in my time of being unemployed and ungainfully employed.

I’d rather be happy than rich.

This may seem like common sense to some of you folks out there, but it was something that I’d forgotten in my years of working in Redmond. I don’t need oodles of money to blow on a car or a plasma screen wall or a condo on top of the Space Needle. What I need is to care about what I do.

I care about entertainment.

So please everyone send me good vibes, waves, prayers, and everything else so that I can fulfill my destiny and start entertaining the world.

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2 Responses

  1. Coming up, your good vibes, waves and prayers.
    Good Vibe: Dude, you rock. You’re my best friend and one of the nicest people I know. Good times are coming.
    Good Wave: ~~~~~ (ride the tilde)
    Good Prayer: I don’t prescribe to the idea that nice guys finish last. Usually they finish high but not first. And the way life is treating you is a crime. You’re a good soul, a hard (ish) worker, and talented artist. Money will come. If not, you can always join Rothfuss’s entourage (I hear he has health care and dental).

  2. Hey Nate, I’m cheering for you over here. I still can’t believe you don’t have people beating down your door to exploit — I mean employ you!

    I can relate to the no money/no social life/spouse seething cause we’re broke syndrome so you have my sympathies!

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