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Give me some of that dark perfection


The Dark Knight
$158,400,000 opening weekend gross

We’re going to play a little game here, but we’ll get to that in a minute. If you haven’t seen the Dark Knight yet, then you probably either don’t have the time or you have a ’standing in line’ phobia. With its ‘biggest opening weekend ever’ hype coupled with reviewer praisegasms everywhere you look, it’s easy to embrace the fears of guys like this:

“Good, but overrated.” Robert Roten Laramie Movie Scope

Even with reservations, any mention of ‘good’ guarantees that a few more twinkles have been added to the mountain of stars The Dark Knight has accumulated. However keeping your expectations in check is a struggle with any summer movie, especially when the you read reviews like this:

“Do not worry about going in with unrealistic expectations. Your expectations pale in comparison with what The Dark Knight is prepared to deliver.” Brandon Fibbs Colorado Springs Gazette

Bold claims abound. It sounds a little shystery doesn’t it? No expectation is too unrealistic! So, let’s test the limits of Bat-hype. I’ve chosen the most hyperbolific reviews I can find and slipped in a faux review of my own. See if you can pick out the one that I made up amidst the ocean of rabid adulation.

“I say this with a smile from ear to ear, there is too much of a good thing. The Dark Knight is the best adult superhero film of all time.” Jeff Bayer The Scorecard Review

Stylish!

“To call The Dark Knight brilliant is an phenomenal understatement. Its bar-raising impact on both crime and superhero movies will be felt for decades. If movies could heal diseases, this one cures cancer.” Ted Hogan Hogansays.com

“This is the kind of movie going experience that people tell their grand kids about.” Bill Clark FromTheBalcony

Diabolical!

“…in the world of movies based on comic book heroes, there are the new Batman films, and then there’s everything else.” Daniel M. Kimmel Worcester Telegram & Gazette

“Nolan and company did such an incredible job with this and tied up all the loose ends so well, that it’s hard to fathom what they could do and where they could go with a 3rd film. I sincerely hope there isn’t another Batman film. You can’t top perfection.” Michelle Alexandria Eclipse Magazine

Terrifying!

“So here it is: The best superhero movie ever. The Dark Knight deftly accomplishes all one could hope for, and then it surpasses it, and then it continues to surprise. The movie isn’t just a triumph, it is that rare pop-culture oddity: A masterpiece.” Christopher Smith Bangor Daily News

“I’m tired of the early Oscar talk too, but when you’re talking the best performance in years, if not decades, it’s worth talking about. The whole movie is worth the buzz. Christopher ‘Slowly Revealing Myself To Be God’ Nolan has done it again.” Gina Carbone Seacoast Newspapers

Oh God! It burns!

Post your answer in the comment section, but before we conclude that this is the greatest movie ever let’s temper our excitement a little by indulging a nay-sayer.

“Mixed with the flashes of absolute brilliance are long dead sections. The film left me more often bored than entertained. It’s a certain candidate for my list of this year’s most overrated movies.” Steve Rhodes Internet Reviews 229 Comments

Most reviews get a handful of responses, sometimes in double digits if they’ve said something brilliant or stupid. I included the link to the comments in case you were curious. The anonymous venom and anger speaks to some long-bottled geek anger. Oh, the sad frustration of people craving unanimousness and getting healthy debate. Tragic. But then again, there were people who didn’t like Wall-E too.

We mourn the
Pleasantly Dire Joker

Goodyear is the Batman’s bitch.

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4 Responses

  1. I think you made up the one from Seacoast Newspapers. What do I win?!

  2. you would have won a special gift…if you’d been right.

  3. Dear sir,

    I just saw this in/on IMAX and I think the selected reviews need more hyperbole!

    MS

  4. by now, no one’s curious which was the fake review. But, in the interest of keeping up my end of the deal, I’ll reveal it now. Ted Hogan is fabricated. As great as the Dark Knight is, it can’t cure cancer…even movie cancer.

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