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This Friday’s entertainment (Drillbit Taylor: 6:30/9pm) comes from the Seth Rogan/Judd Apatow Wonder Twins. Take the form of: Box office success! Sadly, the bullies-tormenting-nerds theme didn’t resonate with audiences or critics (26%). So, in unnecessary honor of its ill-executed theme, I will do my dandiest to berate, badger, and belittle the following reviewers. Game on.

“The poster tagline for Drillbit Taylor is “You get what you pay for.” And who knew recycled waste will cost you $8 at the multiplex these days? . . . Ninth-grade setting, kindergarten male writing.” Brian Gibson Vue Weekly (Edmonton, Canada)

A) You have ninth grade acne and kindergarten girl writing.
B) Stop asking stupid rhetorical questions and explain why poo costs 8 bucks.
C) If you don’t shut up I’ll drillbit your face.


“This rag-tag bunch of losers combine to create some wonderful laugh-out-loud moments, the largest arriving in the final confrontation when Drillbit catches hold of a Samurai sword blade.”
Sun Online

A) Don’t you mean a Samurai sword? A ‘Samurai sword blade’ has no hilt and hates fingers.
B) Lol mmts, ≥ @ End w/ katana. It’s called economy of language. Look it up.
C) Do you think you’re clever Mr. Online? I should find out where Mrs. Online lives, take her out for a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again.


“I don’t mind Drillbit Taylor but why was I watching it? Oh yeah, I get paid to.” Fred Topel Can Magazine

A) Do us all a favor and remove the silver spoon from your fleshy theater cushion.
B) You suck. You should write for Can’t Magazine.
C) Phone call for you. Ted Copel wants his name cadence back.


“Movies such as this remind us that Owen Wilson is nothing less than a national treasure.” Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel

A) Wait. He’s a whatnow? Goodbye credibility.
B) “Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond, it may be your last.”
C) You just equated the Statue of Liberty to the guy from Starsky & Hutch. Why do you hate America?

Apparently, I can’t resist bullying people with movie quotes. “Inconceivable!” We round up this round-up with a special shout out to Annie the Devourer! This weekend on Saturday the 17th of May, she will attempt to consume 3 monster burritos at our newest Palouse taco truck – La Taco Differentia. Come down at noon and eat some yummy Mexican food and watch as a local legend is born. And if you want to toast Annie’s success, use her favorite beer.

“[Drillbit Taylor is] A Miller Lite version of Superbad “ Kevin Carr 7M Pictures

Cheers.


Pouring Deschutes Joyfully

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One Response

  1. me ‘n my friend LOVED DA MOVIE!!!! if some1 doesnt like da movie its b/c they cant rap like filkins ‘n ryan….by da way filkins aka alex frost and ronnie aka peck looked HOT!!

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