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Before we get started with this week’s Flicktacular Suckfest: Fool’s Gold (10%), all potential Palouse movie-theater goer-patrons should know that the Audian has changed its projectapalooza schedule. From now on, all showings are on weekends (6:30/9pm), with Saturday and Sunday matinees (4pm, in this case), no weekday showings. However, before you weep bird about Thursdays, know that the price has dropped. Whereas an evening in beautiful downtown Pullman used cost you a tube of toothpaste ($3.50), it is now a single coin ($1). If you’ve been sucking down Raman for the last month trying to squeak by on rent, cinema entertainment just entered your price range. Now then, is this movie so bad that it’s not worth sacrificing ten dimes?

“IF THERE IS A ROMANTIC-COMEDY HELL, Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson surely stand at the gates waving people in.” Matt Kelemen Las Vegas CityLife

Since we’ve already been to buddy-comedy hell (Wild Hogs) and dysfunctional-family hell (Welcome home Roscoe Jenkins) I look forward to welcoming this Caribbean clunker into our illustrious hall of shame.

“A bad movie, bad in almost every respect, bad as adventure and bad as romance and bad as comedy. It’s really completely bad.” Tim Brayton Antagony & Ecstasy

Okay we get it. It’s bad. But surely there is some redeeming aspect.

“Does McConaughey have some codicil in his contract stipulating he must spend at least 51% of a movie shirtless? “ Pete Vonder Haar Film Threat

“May have been filmed in a new process: Pectoralscope.” John Beifuss Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)

So, McConaughey’s gut rack is the big draw here. Apparently, he flashes it more often than a hyperactive strobe light. Fans of the Thunder From Down In Front are sure to be pleased, but what about people who are expecting the mildly amusing romantic chemistry of “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days”?

“Director Andy Tennant seems to have found a mythical Zen space of bad comedic timing.” Rob Vaux Flipside Movie Emporium

At least it’s good at being bad. Let’s finish this by weighing it against its peers.

“Fool’s Gold makes Six Days, Seven Nights look like Raiders of the Lost Ark. It makes Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End look like Pirates: Curse of the Black Pearl. It makes Into the Blue look like everything.” Fred Topel Can Magazine

Too wordy. Why don’t you use some of those summery skills and show us teachers that you learned something this semester. If we decide to fork over 20 nickels what are we in for?

“It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark, only for retards.” Jon Popick Planet Sick-Boy

Practically Doing Jumping-Jacks

Check out the gut rack.


One Response

  1. nothin’ like a nice gut rack

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