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What Not to Watch

There is a show.

It is insidious in nature, bereft of substance, and convoluted in its presumptions. It is TLC’s “What Not to Wear.” If you’re unfamiliar with it, the premise is this: hosts Stacey London and Clinton Kelly help the fashion-incompetent develop a more refined personal style. That, I’m sure, is what a fan of the show would tell you.

An alternate description might be this: two self-involved fashion “experts” believe that everyone in the world should dress like they do. They find people (usually women), toss out all the girl’s offending garments, then send her on a $5,000 shopping spree in New York City. It might sound like a dream, if not for the fact that she’s followed around by Stacey and Clinton who act like Joan Rivers on Oscar night, tearing apart her style, attitude, speech, and even eyewear.

It’s not that they’re picking on people who are unhappy with the way they dress. They find a girl who is confident and comfortable, and the two of them pick away at her like vultures until she can barely stand to look in the mirror.

Every show ends with variations of the same outfit: a blouse beneath a very practical blazer, flaring slacks, and pointy-toed pumps peeking out from underneath. Occasionally there’s a dress, but that’s when the hosts get “crazy.”

If you’ve never seen the show, I recommend watching one. At the very least, it will put a nice lump of remorse for humanity in your belly. If you have seen the show, or even better if you’re somehow involved with the production of TLC’s “What Not to Wear,” please please consider the repercussions of this show on the psyche of American women who are already self-conscious enough. Why not build up a person’s individuality rather than turning them into prefabricated versions of each other? Fashion is all about the celebration of unique styles, not the homogenization of personalities.

Peace out.

2 Responses

  1. but this show’s where i learned not to wear low-rise jeans because i have such a hairy stomach and lower back.

  2. Didn’t the creators cop out a bit? I mean, what not to wear is easier to define that ‘what to wear’. For example, don’t wear a burlap sack covered in crap. Do I really need a show to tell me this?

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