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Sense the Tastation.

So. Doritos X-13D. If you have yet to spot this innocuous little black bag in the grocery aisle, I recommend you seek it out.

The Premise: Doritos’ taste engineers developed a new flavor, but their marketing department and taste-testers were both wiped out in a mutually-assured-destruction bout of “hand grenade hot potato.” Thus, you, Joe Orange-Fingered Couch Hobbit, have become both the taste-tester and the marketing executive in that you must first decipher the product’s unique taste, then name it.

The Result: The internet is bursting at the seams with opinions of the new chips. It reminds me of the early online world of MUDs. As a player, one could shout a question to the entire world and, true to internet fashion, would get all sorts of replies.

1st Level Grasshopper: “I just picked up a silky pink key. What’s it good for?”
16th Level Smartalec: “Opening the silky pink panty drawer!”
11th Level Grumbler: “Plugging your mouth. Shut up!”
25th Level Wiseman: “Opening one of three doors leading to the Gnome King.”
8th Level Bittermaster: “It makes you invincible. Go attack the archvampire.”

The Moral: If you want an educated opinion, ask a person. If you want a symphony of noise composed of 90% crap, 8% unintelligble AIM-speak, 1% hyperbole, and 1% gold-pressed latinum, ask a crowd of people sitting at computers behind anonymous screen names.

The Conclusion: Doritos X-13D taste like Coney Island hot dogs with ketchup and relish. If you’re like me, and remember tenderly those days of making hot dog and potato chip sandwiches, then this is your ambrosia.

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